Why do men court trouble?

2010-01-30T07:28:00.000-08:00

READ the other day about a man who was accused of cheating on his wife. The couple had been married for just a few years, but over that short period of time, the restless rascal allegedly slept with more than 10 other women.

No, he is not the now infamous Tiger Woods, although you could probably regard him as a man of some standing.

If what his annulment-seeking wife says is true, this woody woodpecker in our neck of the woods “out-philanders” the swinging Tiger, primarily because he also has several wives.

The guy would appear to have had one hell of a game, given the number of birdies he had scored.

This is no mean feat. It is not par for the course.

I would go so far as to say that this is an achievement of sorts, at least here in Malaysia, that is worthy of being put on record.

So, I’m glad that it was reported by the papers.

I understand that it is no laughing matter but you have to be amazed at the brazenness on display.

The man did not so much get into trouble than goes looking for it in earnest.

And I feel sad for the wife.

She said she didn’t even know that her husband had other wives before they got married, discovering it only later.

Imagine her shock – and undoubtedly anger – when she also found out that being the fourth wife was not even half the story.

When it comes to resisting temptation, some would argue that men are weak, but that sounds more like an excuse than anything else.

So, why do men do it?

Why do so many go through all the trouble looking for trouble, or at the very least, not do much to avoid or stay out of trouble?

I found an article on the Internet listing the writer’s take on the top 10 reasons why a man cheats.

Obviously, it has a lot to do with sex.

In fact, the first five have everything to do with sex – wanting more of it, desiring varieties of it, seizing opportunities of having it, fulfilling a curiosity about doing it with a particular person and seeking to re-affirm one’s sexuality.

Some men also have this sense of entitlement – I’ll do it if I want to – while others are excited by the “thrill of the chase”, feel the need for a sexual boost to the ego, or (and check this out) simply succumb to peer pressure.

Peer pressure? Please.

Some of you are probably wondering what kind of man cheats because of peer pressure. Same here.

It would be laughable if it weren’t so utterly tragic.

If all this is anything to go by, then you have to conclude that it is a killer combination of a cheap surrender to animal instincts and an inferiority complex that drives some men to cheat on their spouses and partners.

There is one last factor in the list – sexual addiction.

This might sound like fun but people who suffer from the condition need, and should seek, professional help.

For all we know, the phenomenal philanderers who have hogged the headlines in recent weeks are afflicted by it, and if they are, it should receive some degree of acknowledgement.

However, this is not to say that their actions are excusable.

The motivation behind that ancient practice of “main kayu tiga” aside, it would be useful for wives and girlfriends to also bone up on how to tell if the man in their lives is a “player”

All it takes is a little encouragement and your dream could turn into a nightmare at the snap of the other woman’s fingers.

What I’m trying to get at is this: Be aware, be informed and most important of all, be independent. Whether you’re single or married, take charge of your life and never be too dependent on any man.

And if things do go wrong, I don’t think any woman should wait until she finds out her now Mr Wrong has had his kicks “with more than 10 other women” before she kicks him to the kerb